Have you ever just had one of those days where you just feel like your life just repeats itself? I realized today just how boring life is. I feel like every day is the same thing over and over again. Living life in a continual ellipse. Sitting at lunch today with my boyfriend today, I had a kinda epiphany. It hit me all at that moment that my life is boring and pointless... I kinda have this empty feeling like something is missing. I don't know what it is but I've been so happy recently, but today I guess was just one of those depressing days.
Hopefully i get over this little depression hump. Maybe I just need a girl day with my friends, or a starbucks date would be nice :)
Well in lighter news homecoming is in a week and I'm so uber excited. Being a senior this year I feel like this is my last chance to do anything so this year needs to be EPIC!!! I just wish my boyfriend would ask me in a cute or romantic way :/ bleh no guys ever do romantic stuff for me my guys are more nerdy than they are romantic :P oh well I guess. I'm not gonna complain I appreciate what my boyfriend and what he does do for me. :) He's pretty awesome and I'm lucky to have him.
Well counting down to homecoming. 9 days and counting :) maybe things will change before then.
Come back for your daily dose of Nickki's Kisses XOXO
-Nickki
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
#31
you guys know how I always used to blogged about me and my friend tiffany always writing these stories we were working on together? Well I'm gonna start posting lil previews and random tidbits...
Tiffany laid in the dark glaring out the window. The hospital bed was so uncomfortable. Tiffany heard the door open. She quickly closed her eyes, not wanting to look at another fowl faced nurse as she messed over her monitors and stuck more needles into her.
She was pleasantly surprised when she felt soft lips on her forehead instead. She opened her eyes to see Ace sitting down in a chair across from her.
"Ace?" Tiffany called through the darkness.
"Hey! I hope I didn't wake you."
"No!" Tiffany said shaking her head, "I'm wide awake."
Ace smiled. He missed the sound of her voice so much. "Okay if you say so," he said taking her hand gently trying not to pull on the IV she had in her hand.
Ace's hands were soft and warm and made Tiffany feel safe. "I've missed you." Ace said in a saddened voice.
"How did you get past the nurses?" Tiffany asked ignoring him.
Ace smirked deviously, "A true magician never reveals his secrets,"
"Ace really." Tiffany said tilting her head to the side sweetly.
"Okay, okay," Ace said putting his hands up defensively, "I used my boyish charm."
She raised an eyebrow, "Ace, that's not fair to the hormone raged nurses." Tiffany laughed shaking her head.
Ace loved hearing Tiffany laugh again, but it wasn't the same her laugh wasn't as whimsical and sounded broken. He smiled sadly stroking her red soft red hair. "It seems to work on you just fine." He joked.
He missed Tiffany. His heart ached and he couldn't help but think it was his fault she was in the hospital in the first place. "Tiffany," Ace buried his face in her hair, "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you."
Tiffany could feel her hair getting wet and she wasn't sure if Ace was crying or drooling on her. She didn't want to think of Ace crying so she leaned toward the second choice....
Monday, September 30, 2013
why?
Why do I like you? I don't have an answer for that, but I guess it's Just the vibes you give me, the smiles you put on my face, the laughs I get from talking to you, and just the fact that you can make me think of you even if we're not talking at that moment. I honestly cannot say that there's an answer for that, but I will say that you are the only reason that I'm happy each and everyday. <3
#30
I'm picking up right where we left off. No dilly dallying here. Okay so to tell you my story... After me and John broke up i kinda went through this whore state, where I didn't care what I said or who I said it to. I was talking to a different guy every night. I didn't care how old they were or What they looked like, I just longed for that attention I wasn't getting through my love life or in my family life. I actually snuck out in the middle of the night a couple times to hang out with these guys I didn't barely knew. Well one of these guys happened to be named Jose. Jose was 19 while I was only 16. He danced in a crew and played video games, but most of all he was the biggest flirt I had ever met in my whole life. His words made me feel special and more beautiful than I actually was. So I played hard to get. And he tried harder for me. I missed a lot of school just so I could stay home and talk to him all day. He lived about 30 minutes from me in San Berdino, but he still came to see me when he could. We went out for about two months until I found out he had been cheating on me. With not just one girl either, he had multiple girlfriends all over Cali. all over the US in fact.When I found this out I felt ugly and used. Where did I keep finding these ass hole guys?
I went to school the next day and I honestly only remember two things from that day. Crying my eyes out in the locker room with my friends Kitty and Kaitlyn, thinking how miserable I was and how I just wanted to die, and I remember the very last period of the day.
Mind you I'm a good girl. I get good grades, go to school on time, and was in more AP classes than any 10th grader should be in, but most of all I had never ditched a class in my whole life. Well there was this guy and his name was David. He was in my PE class. I got to know him really well when I was going through my whore stage and I usually talked to him, but that day I had been avoiding him because I didn't want him to see me crying.
Well as I was walking to sixth period he saw me and stopped me. He asked me if I wanted to ditch class with him. I thought about it for a second and realized that it didn't matter if I ditched because I had already decided that when I got home I was gonna kill myself- Now now I know what you're thinking. "Really this stupid girl was gonna kill herself over a guy? Really?" But no I have a crappy life and it was an accumulation of a lot of stuff plus the whole thing with Jose just kinda pushed me over the edge.- so I agreed to ditch with David. We ended up just sitting on a bench talking. And I don't know why but ever since I'd met him he always made me nervous and it always seemed like I had to try my hardest not to be a total retard in front of him. We were casually talking and outta no where he kisses me. For a second I was frozen. A thousand things went through my mind. I didn't want another relationship! I hated guys! But his lips were so soft and he kissed me like we'd been together forever and he had that casual love for me.
My mind was working on hyper drive as well as my heart. Both shouting different ideas. But yet again I listened to my heart and leaned in for another kiss. There was something different about him and leaned in for another kiss. There was something different about him. As I kissed him I compared it to all the other kisses I'd had up to that moment.
My first kiss in my garage, that awkward kiss at the park with my very first boyfriend, under the starry sky with my best friends cousin at her quince and all the other awkward kisses I've had in my life. Yet none of those compared to this one. It was so urgent like if he was a solider going to war and I was his beloved wife he wouldn't see again for months. Yet at the same time it was so soft and passionate like I was his lover or soul mate. I could sit here and type every single adjective but not one of them would ever give that kiss justice. From that moment onward we were intertwined. Everyday we ditched sixth period and sat and talked or kissed. We started going to each others houses and on holidays we spent the whole day together. We ended up spending the whole summer together acting more like a couple than me or any of my past boyfriends had ever acted even though we weren't dating.
On August 20th, 2012 he finally asked me out after 4 months of us hanging out and ditching.
We have now been going out for more than a year and I haven't ever experienced being with a guy like him. We both have our individual problems but I think that honestly brings us closer. It's my senior year and I'm about to graduate and start college. I know that it's gonna be a hard but hopefully we've been together long enough and love each other enough to over come this trial.
well thats the end of my story :)
Lots of love XOXOX
-Nickki's Kissses
I went to school the next day and I honestly only remember two things from that day. Crying my eyes out in the locker room with my friends Kitty and Kaitlyn, thinking how miserable I was and how I just wanted to die, and I remember the very last period of the day.
Mind you I'm a good girl. I get good grades, go to school on time, and was in more AP classes than any 10th grader should be in, but most of all I had never ditched a class in my whole life. Well there was this guy and his name was David. He was in my PE class. I got to know him really well when I was going through my whore stage and I usually talked to him, but that day I had been avoiding him because I didn't want him to see me crying.
Well as I was walking to sixth period he saw me and stopped me. He asked me if I wanted to ditch class with him. I thought about it for a second and realized that it didn't matter if I ditched because I had already decided that when I got home I was gonna kill myself- Now now I know what you're thinking. "Really this stupid girl was gonna kill herself over a guy? Really?" But no I have a crappy life and it was an accumulation of a lot of stuff plus the whole thing with Jose just kinda pushed me over the edge.- so I agreed to ditch with David. We ended up just sitting on a bench talking. And I don't know why but ever since I'd met him he always made me nervous and it always seemed like I had to try my hardest not to be a total retard in front of him. We were casually talking and outta no where he kisses me. For a second I was frozen. A thousand things went through my mind. I didn't want another relationship! I hated guys! But his lips were so soft and he kissed me like we'd been together forever and he had that casual love for me.
My mind was working on hyper drive as well as my heart. Both shouting different ideas. But yet again I listened to my heart and leaned in for another kiss. There was something different about him and leaned in for another kiss. There was something different about him. As I kissed him I compared it to all the other kisses I'd had up to that moment.
My first kiss in my garage, that awkward kiss at the park with my very first boyfriend, under the starry sky with my best friends cousin at her quince and all the other awkward kisses I've had in my life. Yet none of those compared to this one. It was so urgent like if he was a solider going to war and I was his beloved wife he wouldn't see again for months. Yet at the same time it was so soft and passionate like I was his lover or soul mate. I could sit here and type every single adjective but not one of them would ever give that kiss justice. From that moment onward we were intertwined. Everyday we ditched sixth period and sat and talked or kissed. We started going to each others houses and on holidays we spent the whole day together. We ended up spending the whole summer together acting more like a couple than me or any of my past boyfriends had ever acted even though we weren't dating.
On August 20th, 2012 he finally asked me out after 4 months of us hanging out and ditching.
We have now been going out for more than a year and I haven't ever experienced being with a guy like him. We both have our individual problems but I think that honestly brings us closer. It's my senior year and I'm about to graduate and start college. I know that it's gonna be a hard but hopefully we've been together long enough and love each other enough to over come this trial.
well thats the end of my story :)
Lots of love XOXOX
-Nickki's Kissses
One year!!
I can not believe it's been a whole year since i've last blogged. I feel like i let my whole fan base (which consisted of 3 actual people) down and now they gate me. :b well I was reading through my blogs and I realized I never blogged about important stuff like my parents splitting up or me and johns horrible break up or the fact of how every time i break up with a guy i become so bitter and hate love and everyone in love. And I forgot to blog about the most important thing that has happened to me in the past year. No it wasn't me turning 18 or me becoming an aunt, but it was in fact one little word that changed my whole life. "Yes!" <-- this one little three letter word changed everything. I will tell you guys the whole story in the next blog :3 read the next blog for prt.2
Love nickki XOXO 😘
Sunday, March 11, 2012
#29
<3 so uhh peeps I uh no I havent blogged in awhile but its becuz I've been getting stuff ready for my sisters party<3 funnest night ever!!
I had a lot of fun if u no wat I mean ;D lol just playing!!! But honestly where's my best friend when I need to spill all these crazy emotions to someone :'( I guess it is kinda late tho... Oh well...
Well keep coming back for ur daily dose of Nickki's kisses <3
Xoxox
-love always, Nickki
Thursday, March 8, 2012
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